Hearts and Minds Set Free

I have mentioned in previous writings that our thoughts and beliefs create our feelings. If this is true, and I believe it is, then if we are thinking horrible thoughts we will start to feel horrible. If we are thinking something unhealthy or distorted, then distorted emotions are created from them. If we act on those feelings, it is not so good. A big mess will happen, or worse! This is why the voices in our heads are so important to take captive. We get fooled sometimes by what we listen to and by pondering on the crazy thoughts going through our heads, because they can cause us to feel something that feels real but is not based in reality. It seems like it would be hard work to change these thoughts or head ponderings, but it is easier to do the work in the moment that it is happening, than to deal with the repercussions of the messes we get ourselves into from listening to them. I was so good at making messes of things for such a long time. That is why I am trying to help others...

For a lot of my life i had nothing to give. I might do some nice, caring things for others but I couldn't give me. I had a big empty hole inside and I spent most of my waking hours trying to get someone to fill it up, or thinking about a time when someone did say or do something to fill me up. I planned in my head how I would get what I needed in the future. I didn't do all of this on purpose of course. I wanted to love others and give love like Jesus wanted me to but mostly I just needed, and I would hate myself for it. More and more I was hating myself. I knew I had a problem but I didn't know what it was or how to make it better. I carried shame with me. I wasn't good enough, smart enough or pretty enough and I wanted to be anyone else but me. When I would try and go out to love others or give to others, the big hole inside of me was looking around at everyone else asking, "Will anyone out there tell me I am okay?" "Will anyone say I am pretty or me...