WHAT I MAKE THINGS MEAN
I was looking for a reason to feel good about myself, and I needed the proof from someone else that I was okay. I was always looking for someone to let me know that I was okay. The problem was when I would get what I needed from someone, then I would need more of it. If that person went away, or didn’t treat me the way I thought they should, I would fall apart. It was not pretty for an adult to fall apart when they don't get the attention they need from someone. I was always examining others people's actions or words because what they thought or felt of me was very important. If they didn't approve of me then I was not okay with me and if they did approve it would make me so happy, for a while that is! You see, I had very low self-worth, and I needed someone or something to help me to feel good about myself, something to fill me up. I had a big empty hole inside. I kept trying to get that hole filled up with many things outside of myself. I was frantic to do something spe