Hearts and Minds Set Free

Long ago in a land not so far away lived a young woman who gave her life to Jesus. She finally had purpose and that felt wonderful. She had a Lord who she believed in and she believed loved her and gave His life for her. Her life changed for the better for sure, but a lot of things didn't change and some things even got worse. That young woman was me. Even though I had so much newness in my life and my life was so much better, my head was still full of obsessive fear and my tormenting fears might have actually gotten worse than before. At this point I didn't even know what my feelings were. I didn't feel my feelings at all and I was never sure what I felt about anything. The bible said that the Holy Spirit lived in me and I believed that. I even had comfort knowing that I was in Him and He was in me, but I didn't really know this was true. I didn't know it in my knower. I needed to know it inside of me, but I didn't know how. The reality of Him living in me wa

I have mentioned in previous writings that our thoughts and beliefs create our feelings. If this is true, and I believe it is, then if we are thinking horrible thoughts we will start to feel horrible. If we are thinking something unhealthy or distorted, then distorted emotions are created from them. If we act on those feelings, it is not so good. A big mess will happen, or worse! This is why the voices in our heads are so important to take captive. We get fooled sometimes by what we listen to and by pondering on the crazy thoughts going through our heads, because they can cause us to feel something that feels real but is not based in reality. It seems like it would be hard work to change these thoughts or head ponderings, but it is easier to do the work in the moment that it is happening, than to deal with the repercussions of the messes we get ourselves into from listening to them. I was so good at making messes of things for such a long time. That is why I am trying to help others

For a lot of my life i had nothing to give. I might do some nice, caring things for others but I couldn't give me. I had a big empty hole inside and I spent most of my waking hours trying to get someone to fill it up, or thinking about a time when someone did say or do something to fill me up. I planned in my head how I would get what I needed in the future. I didn't do all of this on purpose of course. I wanted to love others and give love like Jesus wanted me to but mostly I just needed, and I would hate myself for it. More and more I was hating myself. I knew I had a problem but I didn't know what it was or how to make it better. I carried shame with me. I wasn't good enough, smart enough or pretty enough and I wanted to be anyone else but me. When I would try and go out to love others or give to others, the big hole inside of me was looking around at everyone else asking, "Will anyone out there tell me I am okay?" "Will anyone say I am pretty or me

Depression can come from the body being out of whack chemically, but no matter how we get into it feels like getting trapped in a place of nothingness. I believe it is when we are stuck between our heads and our feelings and we don't want to go to either place. There is no energy because we are not really in there. We are checked out. I would like to offer some help to get out of that trap. Sometimes we need medication to help but even so, we still have to get out of the trap of allowing our minds to get us to this place. I had a very hard time for a while learning the difference between what was a thought and what was a feeling. So hard that I would get angry when I was told that my feeling was really a thought. I didn't get it! When I found myself in the downward spiral into depression, I had to totally stop my thinking pattern. This was not the time to try and focus on changing my thinking to positive. My focus had to be on stopping all thinking and get out of my head. T

For as long as I can remember I walked around with negative thoughts about myself and others going through my head.  I felt very alone in the world because I thought I was the only one like this. No one else seemed to be having this stuff in their heads. Everyone else seemed normal so I had no idea. My family never talked about what was going on in their heads. I heard plenty of opinions from people but no one talked about the crazy things they say to themselves or the things that run through their minds. I believed everyone was okay except for me. I now know that many people walk around with negative, shaming things going through their heads. People also blame others for their problems and make it the other guy's fault.  There are many areas that people struggle with. We try and reason things out through our skewed thinking and make bigger messes. Shame lies to us and we listen to it. The big problem is that it is all a big secret. We all have these secrets, insecurities a

I lived in my head for a long time. What really changed things for me is when I learned to stay in the moment and put my attention on the Lord who lives deep inside of me. When I changed my attention from what was going on in my head to what I was sensing from the Lord inside, my whole world changed. When I could turn my attention from my head nonsense, to get in the moment with my Lord inside, I could then be still and know He is God. I could make decisions and be present where I was. My mind is what I use to make choices, but if I am listening to the racket in my head, I will probably make a bad choice, or no choice at all and then I get stuck! When I get stuck I feel helpless and hopeless!  If I realize that I have been listening to my head, choose to stop and turn my attention deep inside me to the Lord and to what I am sensing, then the clouds will disappear and I feel free to make a choice. Some people live in their heads blaming everyone else for everything going on

I think guilt is one of the biggest hindrances in the Christian life. It has been for me and I see it trip up so many others also. Way back in the first few years of walking with the Lord I went through a time of feeling separated from God a lot. I did not think I was doing a very good job with my life. I had so many inner struggles. A prophetic man spoke into my life at that time and said he saw walls between God and me. The problem was that the walls were of my own making. It was not God. I didn’t know at that time in my life about how our thinking can put those walls up. I also didn’t know there was such a thing as false guilt. How could there be false guilt? That sounds crazy! Who would knowingly put guilt on themselves? It is false because we keep ourselves in bondage over things that God has long since forgiven and forgotten. It might even be something that we don’t even need to be forgiven for. Maybe we just think we do! It is our thinking about it that keeps the wall up. Decla

There are times in my life where practicing what I preach becomes vital. I just went through a some of these in the not too distant past. I have some areas in my life where anxiety still tries to come on me and take me out. A few years ago when I had an over-an-hour commute to and from work, I had an experience happen to me where I felt a flutter in my chest and immediately my thoughts started with what if I am having a heart attack and I kill myself and others on the freeway. All of this escalated to the point where the road was moving all around me, I was dizzy, freaking out and I had to get myself off the freeway and to a parking lot. I eventually found a back way to get home through some back roads. I went to the emergency room the next morning and got thoroughly checked out and my heart was fine, but this did not stop the insanity. Instead the anxiety got worse. I missed some work because I couldn’t do the drive, but then I just had to get through it. I struggled with the what-if

There are many ways we get stuck in our heads. If the voice of should is in our heads it can cause a lot of problems. It is almost impossible to use our minds to make a good choice if the voice of the should is playing in our heads. I have to take my focus off of all shoulds or opinions and turn my focus to the moment at hand, sense God inside of me, change any negative self-talk to positive and move forward. It seems like a lot of work, and sometimes it is, but it has become the natural default for me. Most of the time it is pretty easy for me now! Sometimes I struggle and I have to remind myself of the process, but for certain my life is 99% better than it used to be when I lived in my head. A mind not polluted by the head can become a beautiful thing, because “We have the mind of Christ!” I believe our heads is the part of us the enemy uses to try and mess us up. If he messes with our heads then he doesn’t have to do anything more because we do all the work of messing up for him. O

I write a lot about our heads and the need to stay out of the head, so I thought it was time to explain what I mean between the head and the mind in case my readers don’t understand what I mean. When I say we need to stay out of our heads it doesn’t mean that I am saying we shouldn’t think. I will try and explain what I mean and hopefully I can help people that don’t understand and make it more clear to everyone. I will begin with myself. I did not do well in school. I had a very hard time learning and concentrating. I could not make choices. I wavered and vacillated and I did not know why. I would get anxious because of it and depressed. I know now it was because I lived in my head. Living in my head kept me from feeling or living in reality. My head was full of little conversations that I had with myself. They were about many different areas of insecurity and what I thought I needed to be okay; shaming voices that played in my head that I was less-than. I wanted to be anyone else bu

I was someone who struggled with rejection issues for most of my life and still do at times. People with rejection issues continue the cycle of rejection by creating their own rejection over and over. They think and fear rejection before it even happens and thus do things and behave in ways to make it happen all over again. They don't do this consciously of course, but because it feels more familiar to be rejected than loved they keep destroying the very thing that is needed so badly. It feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable to let others love us, so rejection, even though horrible, feels more comfortable or familiar. I know these things are true because I just described my life. When I was in this destructive cycle I had no idea how to stop being my own worst enemy. Now that I do know, I want to help others stuck in this cycle. It was a process to get where I am now, and I know how frustrating it is to feel so helpless to help myself. God helped me through all this, but it was not a

I don’t know about you but I have a committee in my head and it is not my friend. It never has been and never will be! It will try and tell me all kinds of horrible, negative stuff about myself and others. It will bombard me with tortuous shaming negative crapola. I try to never listen to it or especially reason with it. It always lies. The committee gets its power from all the negative things that I have ever heard in my life about myself, or others, and the enemy uses it to try to torture me. I know now I must stop these lies in their tracks and change my self-talk immediately. I am okay right this minute and me and the Lord can do this together one second at a time. I can be successful! I can love with His love. I can be all He wants me to be, one second at a time with His power. Me and God can do this together! I am okay right now, because He is making me okay, one second at a time. RIGHT THIS SECOND I AM OKAY! Whatever it takes change the self talk. I do not let that committee d

I write and talk a lot about the committee in our heads-and not listening to it, and changing our self-talk, which are both extremely important, but the other day I was talking to an old friend about some struggles I was having, and she said something that caused me to ponder an important addition to my above sentence. She said, “When you keep hearing inside, “something is not right here, something is not right here,” it is a good idea to take notice and pay attention to what is going on.” Since then, I have been thinking about this statement and I realized that it is a missing puzzle piece for me. I needed to take notice of this because I struggle with putting up with too much, and not knowing when enough is enough. I have a tendency to put up with more than I should in situations, relationships, jobs etc. I guess it is residue from the physical, emotional and mental abuse I have lived through. ACTION I realized that sometimes we need to take action and stand up for ourselv

One of the worst things I have done to myself, and it still can get the better of me at times, is when I am struggling with a fault, weakness or full on sin, I start to look away. Shame can quickly get the better of me and in that moment when I need to run to Him, I look away instead.  It happens very quickly if I let any of a certain kind of expectation self-talk go on in my head. Such as: I should be doing better at this by now; If I was a good Christian then I wouldn’t have these sort of problems; I need to handle these things so He will accept me or love me, I should not allow this in my life; I should do this; I shouldn’t do that; I should love more, etc. There are many ways I can have these kinds of thoughts, and I am sure that yours might look different than mine, but this kind of thinking will get me into shame. Guess what happens if I get into shame thinking? I end up looking away from the One that I need to look to! I need to look right at Him instead of trying to

I am at a place right now, where all I can do is tell myself, “No matter what, me and the Lord can do it together, one second at a time.” I have a committee in my head saying everything to the contrary, but what I know inside of me is that “me and the Lord can handle it together, one second at a time.” If I have to say it to myself hundreds of times today, I know that is where I will find peace and rest. I will put the next second in His hands and let go of it in my head. I will look to the Lord who lives in me, to be there for me in this second. And, that is all we really have. We have "NOW" with Him. Our futures and our next breath are in His hands anyway! I will rest in Him right now . I will not listen to the negative committee in my head for one second. I will rest in Him no matter what! #heartsandmindssetfree #head #hearts #minds #freedom #god #love #moment #feel

Negative beliefs create negative thoughts and negative thoughts create negative feelings! I didn’t know what to do with all that information, but I was desperate to find out. What I learned is that we all have beliefs about ourselves and others. They were implanted in us by the things we saw, the things we heard, experiences that happened and what we told ourselves that they meant. We scooped them up into our beings as facts. Are they facts? Probably not! But, that is how we get our beliefs. The only real truth is Godly truth, but even truth from God’s word can be distorted to us if it is processed through distorted filters. God is good and He loves us, but sometimes it is hard to accept this truth. Does it make it less true? No, it doesn’t, but I had very distorted ideas about almost everything, including God. If something really bad happened to us in the past, does that mean we are bad? No! But, our thoughts might try and tell us that we are. We need to challenge and change those be

If you suffer with anxiety or depression, the first second that you open your eyes is the most important one of the day. It can make or break you! The second you open your eyes from sleep it is necessary to make sure you focus on what is right in front of you, and not any further. No thinking about anything in your day beyond that very moment. To help you put your hands on your stomach. Focus on them and watch and feel your hands going up and down on your belly as you breathe. Wiggle your toes. See and feel them. Anything in reality that you can touch, feel and see is where you should focus. Don't even try and pray, but keep your head right where you are, until you get stable. God is inside of you, and once you get your head firmly planted in the moment you are in, you will sense Him inside. Repeat to yourself what you are seeing all around you in the room. If your thoughts start to wander to anything about your day, your life, anything you have to do, or have done, or how horribl

I was looking for a reason to feel good about myself, and I needed to know from you. The problem was when I would get what I needed from someone else, then I would need more of it, and more. Then if the person went away, or they didn’t treat me the way I thought they should, I would fall apart. It is not a pretty sight for an adult to fall apart when she doesn’t get the attention she needs from someone. You see, I had very low self-worth, and I needed someone or something else to help me to feel good about myself, something to fill up that big empty hole inside. I kept trying to get that hole filled up with many things outside of myself. I was frantic to do something special for God, or others so they would find me special. Then I believed I would be okay. Of course that is a lie so, there came a time for me when I hit the wall and I couldn’t do it any longer. God finally had me in a place where He could do some changes in me! When I came to the end of myself, and my frantic need to b

When I start to think about the future, which is anywhere past where I am right now, and all there is to do, or all I have to handle, I start to feel a heavy weight and burden. Everything feels too overwhelming. It is especially difficult when I know I have to deal with someone else and I wonder how am I going to deal with this or that situation with them. I realized that there is no thought that I can think that is going to help me through any future situation, because it is not here yet. That doesn’t mean I don’t make a plan for tomorrow, if a plan is needed, but after that I am powerless over the rest. Trying to protect myself from tomorrow by thinking about it today does not work for me at all, but I sure used to try! I am promised His grace to make it through, but the grace I am given is for the now. He is with me forever, one second at a time. He will never leave me or forsake which means when I get to tomorrow He will go through it with me, no matter what comes my way. If my th

One of the hardest things I ever had to face about myself was when someone said to me, "You have terminal uniqueness."  I certainly had no idea what she meant!!   Was I suffering from being terminally unique? I had no idea! I knew I needed help big time though! Terminal Uniqueness is when there is always an excuse for why my problems are different. Always an excuse for everything that I do, or for anything that happens to me, and none of it being something I can do anything about. My case is impossible because it is just so much worse than everyone else's! Not taking responsibility for being able to change because my situation is just harder! Terminal = no hope, and Unique = special. No hope for my unique case! I knew that my life had been very sad and that I experienced more rejection than most people. I knew that I could tell you every detail of my hurts, but I couldn't see that I thought I was unique.  I was always feeling sorry for hurting people. I wanted