SHAME THOUGHTS

For as long as I can remember I walked around with negative thoughts about myself and others going through my head.  I felt very alone in the world because I thought I was the only one like this. No one else seemed to be having this stuff in their heads. Everyone else seemed normal so I had no idea. My family never talked about what was going on in their heads. I heard plenty of opinions from people but no one talked about the crazy things they say to themselves or the things that run through their minds. I believed everyone was okay except for me.

I now know that many people walk around with negative, shaming things going through their heads. People also blame others for their problems and make it the other guy's fault. 

There are many areas that people struggle with. We try and reason things out through our skewed thinking and make bigger messes. Shame lies to us and we listen to it. The big problem is that it is all a big secret. We all have these secrets, insecurities and judgments that we wrestle with. We don’t talk about these things to anyone. We all keep our secrets like we are the only ones with these thoughts and we don’t want anyone else to know! We look at others and believe everything looks good with them, but we judge ourselves by our skewed thinking. We can’t see others thoughts so we don't realize that they have the same insecurities and shameful thoughts that we do!

What if we were taught that these thoughts aren’t us, they aren’t good or bad, they are just thoughts! It is what we choose to do with those thoughts that cause the problems. We need to choose the good thoughts and discard the bad ones. Just because a thought goes through our minds doesn’t make it good or bad and it doesn’t make it a fact. It is how we entertain the thoughts that cause the problems. The thoughts that go through our minds can only be tackled one at a time. We can just look at them, watch them go by, change them to positive or just discard them! We have a choice, one at a time what to do with them.

I think this is the biggest plot of the enemy to keep it all a secret, because he doesn’t have to do anything to us, we just mess things up ourselves by acting on our negative thinking. What if others knew the crazy horrible things that go through our minds, we wonder? Some of us have more shame and negative thoughts than others, but we all have them and we all hide it well! We smile at each other, each having our own secret wars going on inside thinking we are the only ones!

It wasn’t until I ended up in recovery meetings after I had been a Christian for over 20 years, that I heard the thought life discussed in a way that was helpful. Besides the scripture to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, I heard nothing about the thought life. I heard thoughts were bad so I had to hide them, and I beat myself up for not having perfect thoughts. I thought I was crazy and I was the only one in the church who was. That was my belief! When I went to 12 Step meetings, for the first time in my life, I no longer felt like a freak. I found out that others were like me.

Recovery rooms have all kinds of slogans about our crazy heads! Whether us being the addict or just the family of one, I learned that it was our heads that were causing the problems. It made life more manageable to take one thought at a time, and do it one second at a time.

When I started keeping it simple things got better. When I quit beating myself up for having a negative thought and realized that I could change them one at a time it got a whole lot easier to take every thought captive. When I started resting and not fighting with my thoughts anymore then the big pile of shame got easier to deal with. It was just a thought, and we all have thoughts and can change them one at a time! I can challenge my thinking. I can quit listening to garbage. I can also turn them over to Jesus one at a time. I don't have to hide from Him anymore because of having thoughts I don't think are right. Now I can run to Him instead!

I believe this is how we really take ground back from the enemy. Our thought lives are the same as others from every people group that have ever walked the planet! Genesis 3: 3-6 tells us the story of the first time the enemy/serpent got into our heads. The woman says to the serpent, “God said, we are not to eat or touch the tree!” Eve knows this to be true because God had said it, but the serpent says to her, “You will not die, for God knows you will be like Him and your eyes will be opened.” Then it says, the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasant to her eyes, so she ate! How did she get from knowing the truth of what God said and declaring it, to the place of eating of the tree? She listened to her head! She reasoned with her head and thoughts, and gave her mind over to the enemy. The battlefield is in our minds! That is why the enemy keeps the battlefield a secret. That is why someone like Robin Williams, and others, kills themselves. It is because of the secret world of the enemy that no one talks about!

Let us remember that we all have struggles and we all have crazy thoughts. We are not weird or crazy while everyone else is okay! Let’s take our ground back from the enemy! If you struggle with your mind, know that you are not alone. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t isolate! Take your ground back one thought at a time! Don't beat yourself up for your thoughts. That is the very worst thing we can do. We need to stand up and take our ground back! Let us love ourselves by giving ourselves grace. Then we will have energy to love our neighbors. Enter into His rest, it is the best! No more torment in our minds. Torment is the worst!

#shame #mind #heart #head