Hearts and Minds Set Free

I have been really struggling with a person in my life for some time now. I have had the hardest time with this person than anyone I have ever had in my past it has seemed like. I have tried everything that I know to help myself with this person, but the weight has just gotten heavier no matter what I have done. I wrote before in a previous writing that I realized that it was okay not to like someone, but that realization did not help me get past the problem with this person. I finally got so overwhelmed that I pretty much crashed and burned. It didn't seem possible that this could have happened but it did. Then I had a realization.I realized that I was carrying something that wasn't mine.  I remembered reading something about this issue in books about Codependency. I didn't really understand it though at the time. I knew I had a big tendency to feel responsible for others peoples pain but I didn't realize that I could actually start to carry someone else's shame ...

For a lot of my life I operated out of need. I would have argued with you if you told me that because I looked at myself as a caring, giving person. I cared deeply for hurting people and what they went through. I wanted to help them. But, when it came right down to it my need for something out of it was greater than my love. I don't think that made me bad. It came out of a broken place; a place of lack. A place of emptiness. I wanted to love, but I didn't have it in me. I wanted to show the love of Jesus to others but instead there was a big gaping hole inside, so the need in me was bigger than the love I could give to others. There were many things I tried to fill that lack with, but none of them ever worked. Even at my very best times of loving and giving to others, there was still a nagging ache inside that it was really about me. I needed to be needed. I needed to please to get approval. I needed to be validated. I needed to be special. At the same time I wanted to be someo...