REJECTION
I am certain that there have been times in my life that I have disqualified myself from receiving or acquiring things that I should have had, whether it was a relationship, a job or anything I wanted. I wasn't familiar with the feeling of success or good things so I would sabotage those things without realizing it.
I was more familiar with lack and feeling less-than so I would re-create those feelings again and again. I didn't do it on purpose, I wanted to receive, but I just couldn't. I would be in a pretty good situation and then I would find something wrong, so I would get out of it for some reason and then blame it on someone else. Having someone tell me I was my own worst enemy was the worst because I just didn't understand it at all!
When we are familiar with living in defeat, lack and rejection it can feel very uncomfortable to have success. I mean it can feel so bad that we tell ourselves that we are being rejected or not accepted, just so we can get out of the situation. Then we can say to ourselves, "See I knew I was a loser!"
Shame is an ugly thing. It is very painful to be shame-based. Shame comes on us when we are put down for being who we are. As a child we are not enough just the way we are. We are not accepted and treasured. Instead, we get shamed for who we are, for breathing or taking up space on the planet. It creates the belief that we are not good enough for anything. Shame can also come on us from our family of origin and the shame they carry. When we have that shame core we tell ourselves that we don't measure up to everyone else. We walk into a room with a lot of people and we want to disappear. We tell ourselves we don't measure up and we feel invisible or want to hide. We run away. We aren't good enough!
I had so much shame and felt so less-than that wherever I went people would abuse me in the same way as others had abused me, and they didn't even know each other. I didn't understand how that could happen. Was there a secret message going out to tell others to treat me badly? I felt like a freak because of this. Did I have a bulls-eye on my forehead?
I know now that I carried the shame around with me, and other shame-based people would pick up on it and pick on me. The way I carried it with me was in my head and what I would say to myself about myself when others were around. I compared myself in my head, and I never measured up. The more less-than thoughts I had about myself when I was around others, the more I would disappear and diminish myself. The more I did this, the more I was heaping shame upon myself and creating my own rejection. I would think that these people were rejecting me because I was yucky, so it would happen again that I would create rejection by my own thinking. I could never understand how others knew that I felt less-than. I wasn't saying it out loud but by thinking it I was drawing all that negativity to myself.
There came a time that I realized how powerful my thinking really was. When those shame feelings came up and tried to make me think shameful thoughts about myself, I would not allow my head to repeat those thoughts to myself anymore. Instead I would say "no" and not allow it in my head. I would tell myself that I had just as much right as anyone else to be there, or to exist or to have success. I was no better or less than anyone else! Right now I am okay just the way I am!
There is a reason the Bible speaks so much about our thoughts and taking them captive. If we let them lie to us and treat us badly, whether it is from the enemy or our own heads, then we are rendered incapable to move forward. One moment at a time we have to take those negative thoughts about ourselves captive and not allow them any longer. If we continue to let them in our heads they act like big weights we carry around, and other people pick up on them and they either run from us to get away from the negativity or stay and mistreat us.
When I lived like this I had no idea what was going on. The rejection and abuse from others just kept reinforcing my own worthlessness to myself, and I carried more and more shame and got more and more abused and rejected.
It wasn't until I quit allowing those thoughts to repeat in my brain and changed what I said to myself, that things changed for me. When I started to change my thinking and what I allowed in my head, then I made new grooves in my brain and my defaults of thinking changed. When the negative tried to bombard me I would say to myself, "Right this minute I am okay and that is what matters." I will not allow a thought in my head that includes lack and negativity. I will not allow it anymore. One second at a time me and the Lord can do this together!
I pray that if you think you have the same kinds of problems that I have struggled with that you will not allow yourself to shame yourself one minute longer! It is life or death to me and I believe it is life or death to you as well. Do not allow negative thoughts about yourself or others to dominate your brain! It is time to say a big "No" to shameful garbage trying to ruin your life. It doesn't matter where it all came from. Right now it is just time to stop it! You can do it one second at a time! If we take His hand and go forward we can do anything one second at a time!
Looking at the big picture is too much for me, but if I stay in the moment with Jesus all things are possible. Even a lifetime of negativity can be handled one second at a time. No one is too far gone! If you knew where I came from you would know that one second at a time you can do it also!
#rejection #onemomentatatime #shame #negativeselftalk #thoughts
I was more familiar with lack and feeling less-than so I would re-create those feelings again and again. I didn't do it on purpose, I wanted to receive, but I just couldn't. I would be in a pretty good situation and then I would find something wrong, so I would get out of it for some reason and then blame it on someone else. Having someone tell me I was my own worst enemy was the worst because I just didn't understand it at all!
When we are familiar with living in defeat, lack and rejection it can feel very uncomfortable to have success. I mean it can feel so bad that we tell ourselves that we are being rejected or not accepted, just so we can get out of the situation. Then we can say to ourselves, "See I knew I was a loser!"
Shame is an ugly thing. It is very painful to be shame-based. Shame comes on us when we are put down for being who we are. As a child we are not enough just the way we are. We are not accepted and treasured. Instead, we get shamed for who we are, for breathing or taking up space on the planet. It creates the belief that we are not good enough for anything. Shame can also come on us from our family of origin and the shame they carry. When we have that shame core we tell ourselves that we don't measure up to everyone else. We walk into a room with a lot of people and we want to disappear. We tell ourselves we don't measure up and we feel invisible or want to hide. We run away. We aren't good enough!
I had so much shame and felt so less-than that wherever I went people would abuse me in the same way as others had abused me, and they didn't even know each other. I didn't understand how that could happen. Was there a secret message going out to tell others to treat me badly? I felt like a freak because of this. Did I have a bulls-eye on my forehead?
I know now that I carried the shame around with me, and other shame-based people would pick up on it and pick on me. The way I carried it with me was in my head and what I would say to myself about myself when others were around. I compared myself in my head, and I never measured up. The more less-than thoughts I had about myself when I was around others, the more I would disappear and diminish myself. The more I did this, the more I was heaping shame upon myself and creating my own rejection. I would think that these people were rejecting me because I was yucky, so it would happen again that I would create rejection by my own thinking. I could never understand how others knew that I felt less-than. I wasn't saying it out loud but by thinking it I was drawing all that negativity to myself.
There came a time that I realized how powerful my thinking really was. When those shame feelings came up and tried to make me think shameful thoughts about myself, I would not allow my head to repeat those thoughts to myself anymore. Instead I would say "no" and not allow it in my head. I would tell myself that I had just as much right as anyone else to be there, or to exist or to have success. I was no better or less than anyone else! Right now I am okay just the way I am!
There is a reason the Bible speaks so much about our thoughts and taking them captive. If we let them lie to us and treat us badly, whether it is from the enemy or our own heads, then we are rendered incapable to move forward. One moment at a time we have to take those negative thoughts about ourselves captive and not allow them any longer. If we continue to let them in our heads they act like big weights we carry around, and other people pick up on them and they either run from us to get away from the negativity or stay and mistreat us.
When I lived like this I had no idea what was going on. The rejection and abuse from others just kept reinforcing my own worthlessness to myself, and I carried more and more shame and got more and more abused and rejected.
It wasn't until I quit allowing those thoughts to repeat in my brain and changed what I said to myself, that things changed for me. When I started to change my thinking and what I allowed in my head, then I made new grooves in my brain and my defaults of thinking changed. When the negative tried to bombard me I would say to myself, "Right this minute I am okay and that is what matters." I will not allow a thought in my head that includes lack and negativity. I will not allow it anymore. One second at a time me and the Lord can do this together!
I pray that if you think you have the same kinds of problems that I have struggled with that you will not allow yourself to shame yourself one minute longer! It is life or death to me and I believe it is life or death to you as well. Do not allow negative thoughts about yourself or others to dominate your brain! It is time to say a big "No" to shameful garbage trying to ruin your life. It doesn't matter where it all came from. Right now it is just time to stop it! You can do it one second at a time! If we take His hand and go forward we can do anything one second at a time!
Looking at the big picture is too much for me, but if I stay in the moment with Jesus all things are possible. Even a lifetime of negativity can be handled one second at a time. No one is too far gone! If you knew where I came from you would know that one second at a time you can do it also!
#rejection #onemomentatatime #shame #negativeselftalk #thoughts
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