Hearts and Minds Set Free

There are times I get offended. I have learned if people are offending or shaming me I should have boundaries and limit their closeness in my life and choose to be around more safe people. Then there are times I am told that I need to share my feelings to the one who has offended or shamed me by saying, "When you say that to me I feel shamed," and sometimes I need to do that also. These things I can use as tools to help me get past the offensive, shaming people in my life.  It seems that boundaries regarding unsafe people and sharing my feelings when someone has offended or shamed me, are very important and needed. What I am looking at right now is, "Where does my responsibility come in?" "What is my part in this scenario?" Sometimes I am offended by others because something traumatic happened to me in my life or childhood and it caused some big button in me. When an offensive person says or does something to me and my big button gets pushed I feel p...

I was reading Romans chapter 12 this morning and I was reminded how important my mind is. I have been writing and talking about the mind for quite some time now because it is so importants. For me, there was no real change or breakthrough in my life until I got a handle on my thinking. After reading Romans 12:2 this morning the importance of the mind was renewed. It says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I don’t know about you, but this hit me strong this morning. “Transformed by the renewing of your mind, so you can prove what is the perfect will of God.” I have been a Christian for a very long time and for a lot of the first half of my walk all I proved is how I could mess up. My mind had control of my life and me, and it was not a good thing! It took me all over the place into areas I didn’t want to go, and I felt powerless because of it. It w...

I am certain that there have been times in my life that I have disqualified myself from receiving or acquiring things that I should have had, whether it was a relationship, a job or anything I wanted. I wasn't familiar with the feeling of success or good things so I would sabotage those things without realizing it. I was more familiar with lack and feeling less-than so I would re-create those feelings again and again. I didn't do it on purpose, I wanted to receive, but I just couldn't. I would be in a pretty good situation and then I would find something wrong, so I would get out of it for some reason and then blame it on someone else. Having someone tell me I was my own worst enemy was the worst because I just didn't understand it at all! When we are familiar with living in defeat, lack and rejection it can feel very uncomfortable to have success. I mean it can feel so bad that we tell ourselves that we are being rejected or not accepted, just so we can get out of the ...

Sometimes I struggle with my faith. It happens slowly. I let in a thought that I don't even realize and before long I end up in a place and look at myself and wonder what happened to me! How did I get here? It always starts with a thought about something that has happened or something that didn't happen the way I thought it should. I let in doubt. It happens in such a subtle way. What God says about himself is truth. It is not debatable, but I question this in some way. When I allow a negative lie about God or myself to get planted in my mind, and I realize that I have done this, just the realization of it does not make everything better. It seems like the aha moment would change it all, but just as slowly as I got tripped up by the negative thought, I also will have to change the thought and be on guard for a while. It is kind of like withdrawal from anything that I have given myself over to. I will have to be on constant guard to not allow myself to slip back into the lie. I ...

Keeping my head in the moment can mean many things depending on different people's opinions. Some say or think that they don't want to be in the moment because the moment they are in is the pits, but I want to challenge your thinking a little bit. The reality grid that I speak of is the only true reality and that is the reality of abiding and living with Jesus who lives inside of me. How do I do that you might ask? For me, when I realize my thoughts are taking off full speed ahead I have to pull them back to myself. I stop and say No! I can't let my thoughts take off alone because then I have now left not only my body but I have also left the only true reality there is, and that is He who lives inside of me! If I go off in my head on a journey without Him I usually get myself into a dangerous neighborhood where no one should go alone. Not only that but the only time I can really be focused on the present reality and what I need to be taking care of right now, is to not...

There came a time in my life when no matter how much I had lost, how much I had seen, how much people abandoned, deceived or rejected me, no matter how much I looked at with my eyes or what I thought in my mind, I knew that deep inside of me Jesus was the way, the truth and the life. My mind could come up with all kinds of, "but what about this and what about that," and all I could say was, In my heart I knew in my knower that Jesus was it. I know inside and so no matter what anyone says, or has done to me and no matter what I have seen in others or no matter how many people let me down, or even when I think God has let me down, I know in my knower, deep in my heart that Jesus is the way. Jesus is it for me! It really doesn't matter what my head says to me about the present situation or about any situation at all, all that matters is that I put my hand in His and go where he leads me. I just need to stay with Him, be in Him and Him in me. There is a war that goes on in m...

I have been really struggling with a person in my life for some time now. I have had the hardest time with this person than anyone I have ever had in my past it has seemed like. I have tried everything that I know to help myself with this person, but the weight has just gotten heavier no matter what I have done. I wrote before in a previous writing that I realized that it was okay not to like someone, but that realization did not help me get past the problem with this person. I finally got so overwhelmed that I pretty much crashed and burned. It didn't seem possible that this could have happened but it did. Then I had a realization.I realized that I was carrying something that wasn't mine.  I remembered reading something about this issue in books about Codependency. I didn't really understand it though at the time. I knew I had a big tendency to feel responsible for others peoples pain but I didn't realize that I could actually start to carry someone else's shame ...

For a lot of my life I operated out of need. I would have argued with you if you told me that because I looked at myself as a caring, giving person. I cared deeply for hurting people and what they went through. I wanted to help them. But, when it came right down to it my need for something out of it was greater than my love. I don't think that made me bad. It came out of a broken place; a place of lack. A place of emptiness. I wanted to love, but I didn't have it in me. I wanted to show the love of Jesus to others but instead there was a big gaping hole inside, so the need in me was bigger than the love I could give to others. There were many things I tried to fill that lack with, but none of them ever worked. Even at my very best times of loving and giving to others, there was still a nagging ache inside that it was really about me. I needed to be needed. I needed to please to get approval. I needed to be validated. I needed to be special. At the same time I wanted to be someo...

I am sharing this with others so if anyone has struggled like I me I can help. Maybe you won't have to go through all I did to be helped.  Some people are pretty hard-headed, thick-skinned and not affected very easily by things. Others are so super sensitive to people, places and things and they are affected by many things. Some people need to be hit over the head before they see something about themselves that needs to change, but there are others who see all of their faults. Faults that aren't even real and they are always looking for even more. Some people's minds dissect everything and find themselves coming up short and then beat themselves up mercilessly for it.   I suffered a lot of my life with thinking I was doing something wrong. This is a lot bigger than someone who is just insecure. I certainly was insecure, but it is more like no matter what I did I could not be clean enough. Some people can't be clean enough in the physical, and they keep washing ...

If you are someone who struggles with anxiety I have a few tips that might help you. When you wake up in the morning do not think about anything you have to do today, anything you should do today or anything at all beyond the very moment you are in. The closest thing to the moment is your breathing. Pay attention to your breathing and the rise and fall of your belly as it breathes. Put your hands on your belly and feel your breathing. Also it helps to remember that the Lord is inside of your every breath. If you have to go to work you don't have to think about it yet. You are not there yet. You just have to get up and get ready. Don't put your mind on anything except where you are right at this very second. Thinking about anything beyond this very moment is as taking a big spoonful of poison, because that is what it is to you. God gives us grace for the moment and His presence is in this moment. It is a much better place to reside than to be thinking of where you are going to...