EXPECTATIONS

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Having expectations of others or ourselves that don’t happen the way we want them to are usually tormenting to us. We ask ourselves why people let their children act that they, or why do they act like that. Why do I act like this? Why do they act like that? Why is usually a word that will get and keep us stuck!

When I get stuck in the whys of life, it is usually because I am expecting someone else to either do or say something a certain way, or treat me or be a certain way toward me. When they don’t meet my expectations or desires, I feel hurt. It seems personal, like it’s against me. Most likely, it has nothing to do with me at all. When I make someone else’s actions, or lack thereof, about me, I set myself up for hurt. Unrealistic expectations of others are planned disappointment.

So what I first do when I struggle with this issue is to recognize that I have been expecting someone else to do it my way. I take responsibility for it, and let myself feel the hurt of what it has cost me to get myself in this situation, and then change what I say to myself about it. If, in my head, I keep blaming others for not meeting my needs or expectations, I am the one who is suffering from it, not them. So I acknowledge it, feel it and surrender it to God. I let God change them. I tell myself, it is not my business and it is not about me!

The second thing I need to consider is am I expecting something of someone, but I have not communicated clearly what I am expecting of them. Do I expect the other person to just read my mind and just know? Do I think to myself, if they really cared about me they would just know or understand me? I shouldn’t have to ask! Mind Reading is in the list of thought distortions, in case you are wondering. It might work that way in a romantic movie, but that is not real life. Also, dropping hints and hoping the other person will just pick up on it and just know, is not communicating either. If I expect someone to do something for me, then I need to be clear and make sure the other person understands my needs.

Unrealistic expectations of myself cause me really big problems. I can be an unusually hard on myself and expect perfection of myself. I have to let that go. My head is my own worst enemy, and I need to give it a chill pill. Acknowledging and changing what I say to myself, and turning it over to God to handle, brings freedom. I don’t need to be perfect to be okay! Neither do you!

I hope this helps someone today, and remember no matter what, be nice to you! Rest in Him!

#heartsandmindssetfree #expectations #choices #mind #heart #thoughts #thinking

#hearts #minds #freedom #god #love #moment #feel

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